she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
