playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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