i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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