You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize