dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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