Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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