My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need to sanitize my soul.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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