we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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