Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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