If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
