Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
