ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
