how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
