is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sponge bath it is.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
