I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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