I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You are a genius and a whore.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize