I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
