I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
