Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
