is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Still dying that you shit outside
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
