ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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