Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
