I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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