he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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