let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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