You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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