Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize