I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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