It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
