My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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