I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
