Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
