JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
