That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
there is glitter all over my balls
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
