You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
