I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
