Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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