he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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