I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
