And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
