boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
