So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
