please come you make the beer taste better
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
