I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
