Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
