Pregnant stripper...not hot.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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