How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
