I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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