Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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