Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
