saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
