you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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