I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
