Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
