She is in my trunk
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
